I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
