The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
