So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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