I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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