Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
