Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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