Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
