I want to make a zoo with you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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