remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
