he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
