she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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