I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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