He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
