Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
