Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Houston, we have a squirter
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
