You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
