yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
