Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
please don't ironically join a cult
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