i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We got so high we made milksteak
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
