I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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