She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
