With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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