you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
