Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
