Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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