I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize