Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
