the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
