You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
