I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
