I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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