there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
