he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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