question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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