Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
