through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
