My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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