His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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