Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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