Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Randomize
