Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
