I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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