A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
