he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
