having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize