Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize