Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
