I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
