I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
