is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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