If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
