one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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