He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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