And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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