Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
