I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
