Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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