if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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