"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
