so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize