yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
