laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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