i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
